Beyond the Tunnel: Why We Choose Survival Over Living

Note: This is Part 2 of The Metamorphosis Series. If you missed the start of the journey, you can read [Part 1: The Flying Horse] here. In this chapter, we look at why the "walls" of our past feel so hard to break and how small habits can lead to a breakthrough.

Change is inevitable. Change is how we grow and evolve. We can't escape it yet most of us spend most of our lives trying to avoid it. 

Why is change scary? When change happens so naturally, why do we keep ourselves stuck in a loop? 

It is often that we can't see anything different. The loop that we cycle through is like tunnel vision. We can't see the pastures on the other side of the tunnel if the walls are blocking our view.

Breaking down these walls of beliefs is hard. It completely dismantles your reality, crumbling it into rubble which reveals a pain so awful, you never want to do it again. 

Not all change is this dramatic, but the memorable ones are the breakthrough moments that birth a new you. A phoenix rising from the rubble, if you will.

What makes change scary is the unknown. The pastures on the other side of the tunnel might not be as green as you hoped. There may be an uncertainty cloud looming on the other side. The truth of the pastures may be worse than the walls that once guarded you.

The beautiful irony is, we need to go through this to heal from the constraints of our wounds. 

Be it ancestral, childhood, or past life, these traumas shape our beliefs and reality. We hold onto it because it once kept us safe. And safety means survival. 

However, safety also means we don't get to live. Survival is about finding and accessing the next danger. Being in constant fight or flight dysregulates our nervous system and there is nothing more disruptive for the body than constantly fighting to maintain homeostasis.

A balanced amount is healthy. The fight or flight response is our built in defensive mechanism. But too much defence walls us in, making us offensive when pushed. 

Just like in war, there's collateral damage. We end up hurting those we love. We end up damaging our bodies by holding tightly to the walls that we've built.

By continuing to travel down this tunnel, we thicken the walls, narrowing the light at the end of the tunnel. 

So how do we break down the walls?

Honestly, I don't have the answer. 

Each person's healing journey and belief system is so different, there simply isn't one correct answer. 

I can only speak from my experience and share what I've learnt. 

My take on it… chip away at it. 

Change is the catalyst that opens new possibilities. It doesn't have to be big and dramatic. It's the subtle new habits that make the biggest difference. 

Try taking a new running route. Start talking to your neighbour. Bring new biscuits to morning tea. Brush your teeth while standing on one foot.

Every small moment counts. 

It helps retrain the brain and teaches it to look for something new, widening the tunnel to allow more light in.

Taking the action to break the loop isn't easy, but it is all worth it in the end. 

You will be stronger and more confident in who you be.